Ole Fawner's 14 Dating Tips

HEYYYY HEY all my cutie little singles all ready to mingle ....the love doctor is in the hiz-ouse! 

Okay...not really...but I am here to give you a few dating tips because frankly I am sick of reading some of your statuses trying to justify the piece of crap loser you have chosen to date. I mean, really, respect yourself before you wreck yourself. 

March 5, 2015: "Welp, Ricardo's at it again. Guess I wasn't enough to keep him warm at night. I hope that floozy Brandi gives you everything you've ever wanted!"

March 7, 2015: "Aww...Ricardo is THE SWEETEST. He bought me roses, took me to Red Lobster and tattooed my name on his neck. Hugs and kisses and smoochy poos...and you all judged me. Haters!"

Yeah, Ricardo's a REAL WINNER...and we feel SO BAD we judged you. Psyche.

So here it is...intervention time. Repeat after me:

MY PICKER IS BROKEN. 

What's a picker you ask? SOMEBODY'S NEVER SEEN MILLIONAIRE MATCHMAKER!! We all have this picker inside of us that tends to choose the same types of partners. If you asked my dad what kind of picker I have he'd say I love funny, malnutritioned little fellas with big eyes that I could beat up if needed. But that's just not true. (Well...not the malnutritioned part). The key is to gauge if our general picks are healthy, and if not, redirect our picker.

When I was in high school I made a list of what I had to have in a husband and guess what? 

I got everything I ever wanted. 

Why? Because I knew what I wanted, I was picky and I didn't lower my standards whatsoever. 

So here goes....OLE FAWNER'S 14 DATING TIPS:

I wrote these as 'he' because I'm a girl but they apply to all.

1. He puts God FIRST in his life because when The Man Upstairs is on board, nothing is impossible. A man that has a tight relationship with the creator of love can only love you so much more. And one day your children will need such guidance and they'll be looking up to your husband for that.

2. It doesn't matter what job he has (I hate when women won't date a man because his job isn't glamorous) just as long as he's a hard worker and willing to work hard WITH you and for you when you're in a jam. (Notice that you also can't be lazy. You're a team. It's not fair to put all of that pressure on him alone.) 

When Dane and I are in a financial bind we immediately start looking into who has the time to take on an extra job, line up the opportunity and pay the bill. Problem solved.

3. Represents you well no matter where he is or if you're with him. 
You should never worry he'll put a bad mark on your family when he's not being monitored. A man can be very intelligent but if no one likes him, you and him will miss out on several life opportunities. A good tip is to watch how he treats others that he feels are 'lower than him'. The moment you see a man treat a waitress like she's dirt, dump him. He's got a bad heart.

4. He's a man. 
I don't mean he has to have a beard and shoot shotguns and eat steak for breakfast...just that he's not a sissy and will stand up for you and your children... because trust me, those moments when you need a backup will come.

5. He understands that sometimes marriage isn't 50/50...sometimes it's 70/30, etc. 
(Like when I just had a baby and am exhausted, fat and can't give anymore) You need to know he won't be selfish and will understand you'll do the same for him later. (Like when he's overwhelmed with his new job) 

6. You have the same goals! 
(Kids, location, work, faith) This was 2nd date talk for Dane and I. 

7. He's the exact person you want your children to look up to and become. 
(Because we all become our parents a little...whether we want to admit it or not)

8. You can only catch a good man if you're good. 
Nobody's perfect but don't expect a hard working, Godly man if you're lazy and slacking in your faith. Look at your weaknesses and try to improve yourself...don't expect a man to solve all of your issues.

9. You always feel like you're  luckier to have him and he makes you a better person. 
I often find myself rolling over in bed at night thinking, how did I get so lucky that he picked me of all people? 

10. Someone you can laugh with! 
Because someday you'll show up late to a funeral with wet hair and three kids in tow, knock over a flower arrangement on the way in and end your arrival with one of your beautiful children blowing out their diaper with the biggest crap bomb you've ever seen. 

And just so you both don't cry...you'll laugh.

11. Their flaws get way worse after you marry them. 
Make sure you can handle that. 'nough said.

12. Take note of his reactions to all types of situations. 
Sometimes your children bring out the worst in you. Make sure your kids aren't punished with an ill tempered man because you overlooked it as a minor flaw.

13. Looks aren't everything. 
Don't get me wrong, I think Dane is a hottie (Whoo Lawdy!) but when I have a rough day with the kids and need someone to hug me while I blubber and cry or when I was stressed about conceiving babies and needed encouragement, I could care less how good he looked shirtless! I just needed my best friend. And thank goodness he doesn't judge my post baby body! 

14. AIM HIGH. 
I don't care how picky it makes you look! Stick to your morals and know what you want as long as it's reasonable. I stayed pure until marriage and got made fun of for it but I'm super proud of myself. I knew if a guy still wanted to date me after hearing my morals, he must take me seriously. You get what you aim for. Stop aiming low and making me read your statuses about how your boyfriend called you horrific names yesterday but is the love of your life today. Dump his sorry keister, work on yourself, respect yourself and aim for better. Figure out why your picker is bad then change what you're looking for!!!   

Ok, I'm done now. My relationship is far from perfect and I'm even further myself but I still feel like this message is important so I'm gon' preach it honey!